I have opted to remain anonymous to shield my identity from the foolishness. Yesterday evening, I became hungry and chose to make some ramen. I extracted the various packets from the bowl, put in the spice mix and dried vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a short while or two, I noticed something was wrong. A awful burning smell had permeated my kitchen. I swung open the door to my microwave and…lo and behold…I had neglected to include water. There was some smoke rising from the bowl. Not wanting to waste the ramen, I went to the sink and poured in water, which filled the air with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then returned the bowl again in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I encountered a clump of blackened noodles which had turned into some sort of strange crystalline substance unknown to humanity. I had a change of mind.