I have opted to stay anonymous to safeguard my identity from the embarrassment. Last night, I felt hungry and decided to make some ramen. I removed the various packets from the bowl, included the spice mix and dried vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a minute or two, I realized something was wrong. A awful burning smell had permeated my kitchen. I swung open the door to my microwave and…low and behold…I had failed to include water. There was some smoke rising from the bowl. Not wanting to throw away the ramen, I went to the sink and put in water, which engulfed the room with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then placed the bowl once more in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I discovered a clump of blackened noodles which had transformed into some sort of peculiar crystalline substance yet seen in nature by humankind. I had a change of mind.