I have decided to remain anonymous to safeguard my identity from the ridicule. The previous night, I became hungry and decided to make some ramen. I took out the various packets from the bowl, put in the spice mix and dried vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a sixty seconds or two, I realized something was wrong. A horrible burning smell had permeated my kitchen. I swung open the door to my microwave and…behold…I had forgotten to add water. There was some smoke rising from the bowl. Not wanting to discard the ramen, I went to the sink and put in water, which engulfed the room with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then placed the bowl once more in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I found a mass of blackened noodles which had transformed into some sort of bizarre crystalline substance never before seen. I had a second thoughts.