So there’s this really hot kid in my creative writing class. Everyone knows I like him. But one day, he walked in looking like a freaking GQ model, and I inadvertently out loud whispered, “Shit, his face looks like the best chair,” and the girl who sits in front of me turned around and said, “WTH, that’s freaky and gross,” and she moved her seat. She gives me weird looks every time she sees me now.