Okay, so this was in fourth grade, and I was in this class with all these dumbass kids. Here’s the back story: My parents typically pack me fruit for a snack, but this time they packed me about half of the leftover Pringles from the previous day, you know, in that tubular container. I was really excited since I LOVE PRINGLES. But when recess came around so I could take MY Pringles and go eat it outside, they were missing from my bag. I started scoping the area, trying to find my Pringles. I call the teacher, she tries to find them but she can’t either. Then it hits me—What if MOIRA STOLE THEM? Moira was this chubby girl in my class who ALWAYS wore a purple princess dress that looked like a bad Halloween costume (seriously), and she was known for being mean. Being the judgmental 9-10 year old I was, I straight out concluded that she must’ve stolen my damn Pringles. I just tell my teacher, “Well too bad, I’ll just go out for recess now. It was just PRINGLES.” Being a little angel. So I stomp out of the class and start searching for Moira. I mean checking different areas, questioning witnesses, wasting my time. So after a solid 10 minutes, I find a group of these kids crowded at the side of one of the portable classrooms. I rush over to see what it is. The kids were eating Pringles. Barbecue flavored Pringles. MY PRINGLES. I start raging as I smack the Pringles out of the kids’ hands and start ripping people away from the main source. And right in the middle of them all was a smug-looking MOIRA with my PRINGLES. I look all mad and rip the BLOODY EMPTY CONTAINER OF PRINGLES OUT OF THE DAMN BITCH’S FILTHY HANDS. By now even dumbass Moira knows what’s up, she’s a goner. I would’ve at least punched her, but a supervisor saw us and ran over. Moira was made to apologize, and I had to accept her stupid apology. I never got to eat my Pringles. To this day I’m sure she fears my cold dead hands, ready to rip her lying face off.