Loading...
Luvex Image

Okay, so this was in fourth grade, and I was surrounded by a bunch of idiotic classmates. Here’s some context: My parents usually pack me fruit for a snack, but on this particular day they packed me about half of the leftover Pringles from the previous day, you know, in that tubular container. I was really excited since I LOVE PRINGLES. But when recess came, and I was ready to take MY Pringles and eat them outside, they were missing from my bag. I began searching the area, looking for my Pringles. I called the teacher over; she tried to find them but had no luck either. Then it hits me—What if MOIRA STOLE THEM? Moira was this chubby girl in my class that literally ALWAYS wore this purple princess dress that should be classified as a bad Halloween costume (seriously) and was known for being a bitch. Being the judgmental 9-10 year old I was, I straight out concluded that she must’ve stolen my damn Pringles. I told my teacher, “Well, too bad, I’ll just go out for recess now. It was just PRINGLES.” Playing it cool. So I storm out of the classroom and begin looking for Moira. I mean checking different areas, questioning witnesses, wasting my time. After about 10 minutes, I spot a group of kids gathered at the side of one of the portable classrooms. I rush over to see what it is. The kids were eating Pringles. Barbecue-flavored Pringles. MY PRINGLES. I start raging as I smack the Pringles out of the kids’ hands and start ripping people away from the main source. And right in the middle of them all was a smug-looking MOIRA with my PRINGLES. I glared and snatched the BLOODY EMPTY CONTAINER OF PRINGLES OUT OF THE DAMN BITCH’S FILTHY HANDS. By now, even clueless Moira knows she’s in trouble. I would’ve at least punched her, but a supervisor saw us and ran over. Moira was forced to apologize and I was forced to accept her damn apology. I never got to eat my Pringles. To this day, I’m certain she fears my cold, dead hands, ready to tear her lying face off.