When I was around 5 or 6 years old, my mom and stepdad got my sister and me bikes for Easter. After church, they asked, “Do you want to learn how to ride them?” And I was like, “Duh??”. Once I got the hang of it, I was riding around in circles, showing off. My mom was like “say cheese” so I look over at her for a second and I FUCKING RAM INTO A CAR AT FULL SPEED. It was a parked car that I completely missed, so I crashed into it, fell off my bike, and began crying, thinking, “this must be how bugs feel”. Like they’re flying around living life and then SPLAT. In retrospect, that was my first existential crisis.