Okay, so this was in fourth grade, and I was in this class with all these dumbass kids. Here’s the back story: My parents usually pack me fruit for a snack, but this time they packed me about half of the leftover Pringles from the previous day, you know, in that tubular container. I was really excited since I LOVE PRINGLES. But when recess came, and I was ready to take MY Pringles and eat them outside, they weren’t in my bag. I began searching the area, looking for my Pringles. I called the teacher over; she tried to find them but had no luck either. Then this thought comes to my mind—What if MOIRA STOLE IT? Moira was this chubby girl in my class who ALWAYS wore a purple princess dress that looked like a bad Halloween costume (seriously), and she was known for being mean. Being a judgmental 9-10 year old, I immediately concluded that she must’ve taken my damn Pringles. I told my teacher, “Well, too bad, I’ll just go out for recess now. It was just PRINGLES.” Playing it cool. So I storm out of the classroom and begin looking for Moira. I’m talking checking areas, finding witnesses, wasting my time. After about 10 minutes, I spot a group of kids gathered at the side of one of the portable classrooms. I hurry over to see what’s going on. The kids were eating Pringles. Barbecue flavored Pringles. MY PRINGLES. I start raging as I smack the Pringles out of the kids’ hands and start ripping people away from the main source. And in the middle of all the kids, sat a smug looking MOIRA with my PRINGLES. I look all mad and rip the BLOODY EMPTY CONTAINER OF PRINGLES OUT OF THE DAMN BITCH’S FILTHY HANDS. By now even dumbass Moira knows what’s up, she’s a goner. I would’ve at least punched her, but a supervisor saw us and ran over. Moira was forced to apologize and I was forced to accept her damn apology. I never got to eat my Pringles. To this day, I’m certain she fears my cold, dead hands, ready to tear her lying face off.